Hana Relay

Oh no, she did a 'Kathy'

I asked to run with Shauna but 2 days before the race she accidentally dropped a weight on her foot & broke her toe. I was totally bummed. I tried to play it cool, as if running alone was no big deal...But I was a nervous wreck. The few days before the race I couldn't sleep.

Glutton for punishment

I love to make my life hard. I had the bright idea to make energy bars the night before the race. Even better, I never made them before.... You have permission to smack me across the face if I ever say I'm going to make them again. I hear they were good, I don't know...I was SO OVER IT.  By the time I was finished I went to bed close to midnight.

Rise 'n Shine Snatch!

I got up at 4am dragging butt with butterflies in my belly. I was excited & nervous. In the darkness of the Kmart parking lot you could see other teams assembling.  As the sun rose all the teams started to assemble near the 2nd leg.  The atmosphere was electric. I have never experienced anything like this before. All the people, the costumes the noise...WOW! I even saw people there I never knew even ran!

Look at them running fools

Rode with Shauna & Jun from the beginning of the course.  Rod eventually joined us later at Ho'okipa. Bonus for us was Rod wanted to drive!  The day was going great but my anxiety was building with each leg...Pretty soon it was my turn.  Before I knew it Lori was blazing toward me. She passed the baton & off I went.

LIARS!

Leg 7  3.4 miles:  from TWIN FALLS (HOOLAWA) BRIDGE to EMI BASE YARD IN KAILUA .  Rolling hills, then mostly level on winding road.

They were pretty liberal with the whole "rolling hills" description. It should have read,

"Majority uphill with some plateaus that will fool runners into thinking that they may have a break with a downhill only to find out it goes uphill again. Winding roads are meant to test your reaction skills in the game of Chicken with oncoming cars." 

As I made it up the first hill I was gassed. What The Hell?! I figured I had better slow my roll if I would ever make it to the finish. I was timing my run by the number of songs played on my pandora station. Would've worked had, I had a signal...

As I racked up the meters the support vehicles began driving by. They are awesome...lots of cheering & fun. We had the word SNATCH emblazoned  across our upper back.  This was a male fan favorite. Who could resist the opportunity to yell "Hey, nice snatch!" or "Nice legs, Snatch!" without fear of getting b*tch slapped? But all good thing must come to an end.....

HELLO DRAMA QUEEN

Running alone I became my own worse enemy.

I was convinced I was going to have a heart attack & die in the middle of the jungle.

When grounded myself down to the point I had to walk, I gave myself only 10 seconds to catch my breath as I didn't want to be caught walking, wasting time or worse....

Nothing rubs salt into a wound like people passing you. Yes, plural (people not person). A guy from the "Die Another Day" team passed me. That shirt just irritated me since I felt I was dying now. Exasperated, I threw my hands in the air, looked up to the sky and yelled, "Aww come on, you've got to be kidding me!" The F-Bombs were going off in my head.

The Peanut Smuggler in booty shorts

Out of nowhere this Dude who looked as if he was wearing my shorts blew past me. That Mr. Daisy Dukes marathon runner pushed me over the edge! Hands in the air, I screamed "What the fuck?" He turned, gave me a smirk then I swear...he flashed me some nut he was trying to smuggle in the shorts he stole from a chick. (That is a mental scar I will take to the grave, thanks, thanks, a lot man.)

Maybe it was the peanut sighting or the run but I was suffering with nausea, BAD. I kept looking on the side of the road for a place to barf alone but every decent choice was taken by some cheering teams.  I know what you are thinking, why didn't I just blow chunks anywhere?  Um well, I don't believe anyone needs to see that kind of warfare & destruction. ...n the end I never found a suitable place...my breakfast stayed where it belonged.

Thoroughly pissed at this point I flipped the switch from Drama to Bitch mode I picked up the pace.  I started to pass a few people. Which made me feel better. (I was secretly, hoping someone would swear at me....That would have been AWESOME!)

Cruel Joke

So, every time I saw 3 or more vehicles parked on the side of the road I got excited. I thought, HELLYES! The end is near.  Make the turn, Nope...There I went: AHHH _________,
Mother_________,  Son of__________!     expletive 
            expletive                    expletive
If  a hardend Hell's Angel could read my thoughts just then, I'd make him blush.                                             

No matter how many F-Bombs I was dropping in my head I wasn't about to quit the war.

Extreme Underoos

I was faultering, just then I hear a quiet voice in my right ear...."Don't walk, we are almost there. Just keep going." I thought I was hallucinating for sure. I turned to my right only to see a grown ass man rocking The Man of Steel Underoos.  Much to my surprise I knew Superman! It was Coach Mark from Maui Extreme CrossFit.  Man, thanks for the visual and for pushing me to finish strong!

Gimme some lovin, then pass me a drink

Oh how I love my teammates! They are wonderful, always supportive, congratulating me on a job well done. The overall consensus was "We felt bad for you as we were driving the route. We also were glad it was you and not us." As comforting as that was, I was disappointed in my performance. While I did try my very best, my training did little to prepare me for this course. All I could do was shrug & say F it where's my drink?

Instead of drinking water, I drank a Hornsby Hard Cider. Damn, it was good. Then again, so did the Pabst Blue Ribbon after not drinking for 2 months (just for this race)....so I had a nice little buzz to dull the pain from my ego & knee.

Redemption

After some booze, rest & water I felt the urge to redeem myself. I decided to run another leg. No pressure because Ethel was the "official" runner and Kats was doing it too!

Leg 14 2.4 miles: From PUAA KAA STATE PARK to LOWER NAHIKU ROAD.  Level, then downhill. Fast leg.

Finally, an accurate description! I wasn't too far behind Ethel but sorry to say I left Kats in the dust. No F-Bombing this time. I wasn't going to let it get to me. Seriously, it was the best feeling hearing the team cheering.  I was overjoyed seeing Rod, Shauna & Jun at the endline. It was bliss!  I was toast, literally....I had zero energy & was fully brown so much so that if it was night you'd only see me if I smiled.

The Kathy Whisperer

I didn't want to run but some BAD ASS CHICKA named Shauna Goo Riglos was determined to run the last half to the finish line.  Like, I said before I am no match for her negotiating skills. Every time I said no, she said yes. I even complained, "Dammit Woman, you know exactly what to say to get me to do things." She turned, with a big smile and said, "I know, so you're running right?"

My Hero, more Snatch & a bunch of Jerks get to finish

I love Shauna, she has the biggest heart & an iron will. She will forever be my hero. She ran in spite of the pain. When she needed to walk she apologized and told me I could run ahead.  Um hello crazy? She makes like I never needed to walk too? I told her we were going to do it together.  Hey, even Kim Mac jump out of the truck came along for the run! Oh Boy, it was too much snatch for some guys as they were doing their best, Hollah from ya truck Ballahs action! Some of those were definite panty droppers....(said no one).

Let's not forget about all the shirtless Jerks running...You know those Vagaliens were loving them....Yup, many a happy woman in Hana that day....Rawr!

We made it to the finish line! Don't know what our time was. Bumper said it improved by 30 minutes from last year...SWEET!   9/12 UPDATE: WE CAME IN 46th PLACE  IN THE MIXED DIVISION!

The reward for the punishment

Anyway, after eating, picture taking & some re-fueling by beer it was time to relax.  We went  swimming at the red sand beach where we met some very interesting people. Check out the RFM blog you'll see what I mean....

I even paid Kalaheo $20 to pick up my car from Kmart just so I didn't have to let the good times end.

There were too many great memories made, some fuzzy, even lost altogether (thank god) to write about. Maybe another time....

I have to admit, I have a pretty cool life. Especially now because of my RFM family. Thanks for everything guys can't wait for next year!  



Hana Relay 2012
RFM Team Snatches & Jerks