My strange journey to CrossFit -Pt. 1: My Mom or Jillian Michaels made me do it.

In the past, shopping at Wal-Mart qualified as exercise in my book. In my defense I am short. My strides are like, 2 feet wide. That perpetually full parking lot. Having to park out yonder then walking around the Zoo that is Wal-Mart. You get my drift, it was an epic marathon.

About 2 years ago, my journey began out of vanity & a TV Show re-run that got me off the couch.  I had been invited to a Halloween Costume Party. I don't know about guys but for Women costumes are limited when you have the body shape of a Andagi (Okinawan doughnut) brown, short & round. I could dress like a hobo but then I would be accused of not dressing up at all for the party. Thankfully, I found a cute Sailor costume. 

Anyway, as I sat on my couch mauling my Mexican Pizza it occurred to me that I couldn't duct tape my entire body for the whole night and that's when I heard the "Angelic" voice of Jillian Michaels blaring on the television set:

"Shut up! I don't care if you're tired. Don't be lazy. It's because you're lazy you are here!" 

Shocking yes, but not for the reason you may think. She sounded like my Mother!  Growing up, I always heard that woman scolding me...But, I wasn't a bad kid, just a stupid one.  I got caught A LOT. It was so weird!

Whatever....That statement got my attention. Mom was right.  Oops!  I mean, Jillian was right.  I was going to start tomorrow. 'Cause I still had to decimate my remaining Taco Bell combo...There is no use letting it go to waste, there are starving children in Africa after all (my Mom's favorite line)......

If I close my eyes she
sounds like my Mom
yelling at me.



DVD purchase#1: Yoga Meltdown. 

$9 at Wal-Mart. (Hello, I had to get my cardio in.)  My reasoning for this purchase?  It was affordable, she's bitchy, sounds like my Mom, she wins TBL every year & I am kinda flexible. I soon learned, Bendy Kathy I am not! 

Example: I tried doing a warrior 3 position and I face planted into the floor. Had I not been so tired I would've laughed.  I was realistic, if I lose a couple inches I'd be stoked.  What I didn't realize it would be all in my thighs. WTH?! Game Plan change time.  Being a underachiever my goal ended up being able to hold a pose correctly for the entire time length. Aim Low, find success! Woo Hoo, WINNING!   

After a month, I got bored easily with this workout. I needed action.  For me, meditation = sleeping.  Can't say that I was any more peaceful doing that vs drinking a few vodka-cran-midori cocktails. On top of that, I was tired of explaining why I had rug burns on my forehead. I have no idea why people kept saying, "Uh huh, yoga rrrriiiigghhghtttt."  Do they really think I'm that freaky? Um don't answer that.  Moving on....

DVD #2: 30 Day Shred



Mom's still yelling at me
but this time my face is
intact.

 I still thought Mom...shoot! I mean, Jillian deserved another chance.  This one was a much better fit for me. More movement in general. Plus, got to purchase my 1st ever set of 5Lb dumbbells! (BTW make a very good door stop.) for this DVD.  I huffed & puffed my way through the 1st phase. It was tough, my first introduction to high impact workouts.  It was 20 mins, so committing the time to this was easy.

I started to see some results not only in my thighs this time. The flabballah (pronounced: flab-bah-lah) it's the name I've given my flabby mid-section got a little bit streamlined.  Not so much Andagi anymore. 

I was motivated, by my results.  Finally, single digits size! I did it 3 days a week, then 5 days. Before I knew it I was onto phase 2, then 3....that's when it started getting boring.  I tried to mix it up, 3x a week Shred, 3x Yoga.  I think this carried on for about 4 months.  Bleh, I was losing interest fast.  That DVD interlude lasted longer than Kim Kardasian's marriage so, I suppose it was worth another 9 bucks.  



To be continued.... 

Part 2: I'm doing Zumba, not having a seizure.