Murder By Box Jump Burpees

A few days ago it was sweltering. The humidity combined with the heat made the box feel as if you were working out in the Devil's armpit. I unfortunately sweat A LOT to the point where I seem as if I'm suffering from a gland problem. Days like that pushes it over the edge....God, I was melting, literally.

You know it's bad when you can hear from the parking lot Ken yell out, "AHHH It's so hot, I can't breathe!"  If our quiet Man of Steel is knocked to his feet, what the hell is going to happen to me?

Before this post becomes consumed with my distain for heat. Time to change the subject.  Let's start with my unexpected highlights of the day....

Carol was back!  Spanking my butt as she passed. I pretended I didn't know who she was but Lez be honest, I'd recognize her palm smack with my eyes closed! Great to have my RFMBFF back.

I got to see Bruce stretch out. Mister is flexible! No, I'm not perving....When a man who built like a Linebacker can raise his legs to chest height then bend enough to where his nose can touch his knee THAT is worthy of gawking! Bravo Bruce! I for one was thoroughly impressed.

It was Back Squat day...YAY ME! I love back squats. I get to put my big soccer legs to use. I can bang them out with proficiency. When I do, feel like I'm a ultra-mini female version of Ken.

Unfortunately, my glee was short lived...I had to do math, my arch nemesis!

Turns out last week was a fluke. I am back to normal. I can't add, it took me over 10 minutes to try and figure out how I was going to get the total sum of 80# on a 45# bar. In the end, I didn't figure it out. Carol did.

To make matters worse, Bumper must have really wanted to showcase my short bus capabilities by devising a WOD like this below:

A. Back squat 3x5 (80#)

B. For time:

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1    KB swings  20#
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10    Burpee box jump 16"

This counting sequence messed me up BAD. Well, pretty much everyone. Bumper had to repeat himself at least 5 times. Like I said I was back to normal so this was TOUGH. I kept on having to look at the board to make sure.

I went for a manageable weight for my KB swings.  I am prone to laziness so just in case I ALWAYS ask Kristi or Bumper. I love is their facial expression. It's the look of, "Hmm...really, again?

I like kettle bell swings.  They are simple but I can't help but giggle every time I think about the hip thrust movement you use. When I do the 1st few reps I wanna yell, "OH YEAH. WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!" 
Yes, I am very immature.  I say whatever!  Don't lie, I know you've thought about it before. If not, now you will....YOU ARE WELCOME.

Moving on, let's talk burpees.  Mine are UG-GA-LEE. No sugar coating this one.  It's ugly in a way that, if my burpees were a chick in a bar hoping to hook-up not even the meanest beer goggles would get them laid.

Yeah,  you are SUPPOSE to ease into a plank position and with control, lower your chest to the ground. Not me, I just throw myself to the floor. This is where me having the chest of a 10 year old boy is a clear advantage. Hooray for small boobies!

I've come to the revelation through torture half of the battle of burpees is the act of standing up. Knowing this is all well & good.  However, this girlfriend be jumpin' on a box that is 16" high!  SIXTEEN INCHES PEOPLE! That is some Evil Knivel type of action if you ask me. Getting me to jump that high is a miracle in itself.

I was on fire! My adrenalin was pumping or I could have stepped on some rabbit poop on the way to the gym but I totally bunny hopped that sucker! Better yet, I escaped injury do so. What an ego boost. I was psyched, I went for it!

Toward the end (around the 8th round) fatigue set in.  I was keggin' bad....started to lose count of my reps, so I did extra. I also started  pounding my landing.  No cushioning that sucker, my poor shins...That's when I wished my ninja skills came out without alcohol.

Even with my many "setbacks" I managed to complete the Murder By Box Jump Burpees WOD (that's what I'm naming it) in a respectable time.

It took me over 20 minutes to recover. I was toast.  The only reason I moved was I had to.  I was sitting on some bumper plates and the 6 o'clock class needed them.

The truth is: I am demented, I derive the most satisfaction from the hardest vomit inducing workouts. I love the Torture. Five days a week I get to challenge myself. Achieve beyond what I thought I was capable of. Embrace the pain because that's a reminder that I am alive.

Gotta run.

Blog ya later,

Kathy