Fran

We are doing who? Doing what?

I had dodged the bullet until last Friday. I had my first encounter with the Infamous Fran. I was dredging it after all, it's the Super Bitch of all the "ladies".

FRAN:

Three rounds, 21-15- and 9 reps, for time of:
Thrusters
Pull-ups

To look at this WOD (Workout Of the Day) it looks pretty simple, straight forward and it is.....

Simply ignore your basic need for oxygen, have a high tolerance for pain & have a barf bag near by.

The Devil must enjoy watching me squirm. Why else would I have found out we were doing Fran early Thursday morning? Basically, I obsessed about this golden nugget for 32 hours prior to setting foot in the box.

Sweating the small stuff

I have a have a couple of obstacles. First, is my outstanding lack of upper body strength.  Even with my new "Pistols" (not guns, that would be a HUGE LIE) pull-ups are dreadful.  In the past they have literally made me cry. Basically, every WOD I do and DON'T CRY is a PR.

Second, I have a Love/Hate relationship with my pal Thrusters. Love them for the efficient way they work the different muscles in one movement.  When I do them I imagine I look like Annie Sakamoto.  I hate them for the fact they work every single muscle in my body, it kills me with the over head press.  In reality, when I do them I don't look any thing like Annie. More like her uncoordinated stunt double in a comedy.

Let your fingers do the thinking

What does a proactive CrossFitter do when at work? I googled, "Strategies to complete Fran, CrossFit". I must have read at least 20 different articles.

From the above statement, you can imagine I am incredibly busy. Which is why I limited my YouTube WOD demos to anything under 5 minutes....13 videos later, I felt that I had a pretty good understanding of all things Fran. 

And the answer is?

The consensus was to break up the reps: 7-7-7, 5-5-5 & 3-3-3.  That WAS the initial game plan. The focus was just to complete this workout nothing else.  

Counting sheep or Abs, either one doesn't work.... 

I couldn't sleep that night. Maybe it was my nerves or it was the looping video highlights of Rich Fronin, Graham Holmberg & Matt Chan doing Fran at the CF games playing in my head.

Mmmm....Just give a few seconds.

Um Wait, what was I talking about again? Fran. Yeah, Fran....    

Friday afternoon came quickly. During our class Bumper gave us a pep talk regarding the WOD along with some helpful tips.  He explained that Fran was intended as a sprint. We could go heavier but it could slow us down.  The fact of the matter was, there was a HUGE metabolic difference between 7 minutes versus 5 minutes in completion time. 

**Cue the choir, get the spotlight***

I had an epiphany as I was setting up my station....  remembering what I read earlier on Again Faster's blog.

"Do the thrusters unbroken. Every time you stop you expend too much energy & lose time having to clean the bar. Efficiency is key.  Rest can come during pull-ups. It takes less effort & you'll save time".

That was it. THIS was going to be my new game plan.

Time to put on the big girl panties

No more just happy to finish bull. I am past that already, I was going for it.  Do the sprint, even if it kills me. The hell with the previous wussy game plan.

I could manage was 35# Thrusters. (Don't judge. My pistols can only do so much).  For the pull-up portion I graduated from the blue band to the red one.  This was going to challenge me for sure....Don't cry, don't cry...

3,2,1 GO!

Round 1 (21 reps):

I had unusual focus. Counting up to 21 reps is difficult for someone who can't count past 10 normally.  I wasn't about to do extra thrusters out of stupidity. I was banging them out. By the time I was hitting the proverbial wall I realized I was on 17...No dropping the bar now. I had only 4 more.  Go unbroken, Go unbroken, became my mantra....Too bad, I didn't figure out until round 2 I was doing my thrusters wrong and gassing the hell out of myself.

Dropping the bar, I stumbled to the rig. Don't know how but I didn't snap myself in the face with the red band.  I had overlooked the fact that the Concept rower was to my left when I chose my spot.  I tried in vain not to let it get in my way. Of course it did.  In the war of Rower vs Kathy, the Rower was wining.  Bumper, hooked me up and moved it.  I appreciated the help & the short rest he had given me.  Now it was time to make up lost ground.  I did as many reps as I could handle.  I shook it out when necessary. I broke it down in a small rep sequences: 7-5-4-3-2...No tears, so far.

Round 2 (15 reps):

This time I started to do the thrusters correctly after my 4th rep.  I heard Bumper's voice but it sounded like Charlie Brown's Teacher,

"Whaah, whaah, elbows up...Whaah, whaah, open your hips, whaah, whaah, whaah...."

I made the adjustments. I didn't know it at the time but he was yelling directly at me.  Again, did my thrusters unbroken. By the 10th rep my body was screaming at me to stop. I ignored it's plea...There was no way in hell I was going to drop that bar! I would pause a bit longer at the top to take a break. Go unbroken, Go unbroken.  Only 5 more, then I would find some relief.  If you could call it that.

I was blind.  In a haze, sweat stinging my eyes, gasping for air. Stumbling once again to the rig. The mere act of pulling the red band over my right foot started my anxiety. How in the world am I going to do 15?! Don't lose it, no tears, you can do this. I fought for every single rep. What an epic battle!

After the 3rd one I started grunting like a fricken bear. Shoot, I was in the zone.  Not noticing my increasing volume.  Until, I grunted so loud that I scared myself!

"Holy crap what was that?! Um, that was me? Yikes."

How embarrassing.  I tried in vain to do the subsequent pull-ups quietly.  It didn't work, the bear had taken over.

Broke up the reps again: 4, 3, 3, 2, 2, 1. The last 3 were murder! My arms were jello. I was actually happy I had thrusters next. What the heck was wrong with me?!

Round 3 (9 reps):

HALLELUJAH ONLY 9 MORE! ALMOST THERE! That was screaming in my head as I walked over to my barbell. Knowing the end was within reach gave me the adrenaline rush I was desperate for. Again, go unbroken, go unbroken. My lungs were burning, my body was pleading for me to take a break. Fatigue started to creep in.  By the 7th rep I was wavering...then Lori yells,

"Come on Kathy only 2 more!"

Those encouraging words were my lifeline. She was right. It was excrucitating, pressing the bar overhead. The last rep for me is always the hardest.  As soon as I locked it out, instant relief. I dropped the bar to the floor. No niceties...it was war.  

In a haze, I dragged myself to the rig.  My legs felt so heavy. Like I was smuggling lead sinkers in my shoes. I can only equate the effort I put in just to get myself up on top of the box to climbing Mt. Everest.  

There I was standing on the box, hands on the bar...Only thing standing in my way were 9 pull ups.  In the past, this would have broken me.  Not today, I wasn't going to let this defeat me! No tears.

The bear came out with a vengeance.  It became grunt chorus starring Linda & myself that last round. The volume was loud enough to scare both small animals and children for miles around.  Close your eyes you would think two animals were mating.   

By now I was very nauseous. With every grunt I was playing Russian roulette with a barf bazooka. In my mind it was worth going for it in spite of my nausea. I had covered my bases.  I planned my fastest escape route to either the bathroom or the bushes during round 2. I know, I'm a genius....

I can't recall the sequence of my reps. However, I do remember my last pull-up distinctly. It was as if it was playing out in slow motion.  I was both savoring the moment and relieved it had finally come.

As soon as my feet hit the box & I yelled, TIME!  What a glorious word! I melted into a seated position on my box unable to move for a few minutes. Sensation finally return to my extremities and hobbled back to my barbell.

It's amazing how you stop feeling like you want to vomit when you are gasping for oxygen not sure where you are.

I did it in 5:59

This ranks among my Life's Top 10 highlights list. Definitely my finest CrossFit Moment thus far.  

CrossFit WODs have become a didactic endeavour. It never gets easier, and I never it want it too. Each time grow a little stronger in the struggle.

Got to admit, Fran lived up to her hype. Thanks bitch! I needed the butt whooping.


Blog ya later,

Kathy

Vacation insanity, from what I remember

After extending my trip to Las Vegas I was coerced into going to the gym. Sure, when you are 3 sheets to the wind this sounds like a worthwhile activity...Mind you, This term, "Worthwhile" is completely subjective.

At this point my opinion of a worthwhile activity was a essential shopping trip to buy more oranges, limes, patron, beer, Ciroc Vodka & coconut water (For after every shot to keep hydrated). Come on, I'm a cross fitter. I try to live the whole Paleo lifestyle. I drank beer in moderation...because I know: CARBS ARE BAD FOR YOU!!

The guy holding the
dumbell is Dorian

Anyway, getting back to being coerced into going to the gym...Gotta be me to hang with a strongman. My main man Dorian, is one of the few people I know who is an active member of 24 hr fitness. not just deposit their money there  He told me he was going to the gym, so I was going. Normally, I'd make like my kids and ignore the adult speaking. Although, when a guy who can  overhead a combo of you, your kids & hid two dogs with ease you don't argue.

Kathy Bader

November 16 via mobile

Getting my WOD on at the Friendly neighborhood Globo Gym. — with Dorian Cheney at 24 Hour Fitness - Wigwam Agassi, NV.

He takes me to his favorite 24 hour fitness. As he puts it, where there is a good mix of "normal" people who workout. It must be a Vegas thing. I'm just flattered that I might be in the "normal" category.   As I walked through the double doors I felt some guilt like I was cheating on RFM...

A place for everything, everything in its place...

The gym was HUGE. Indoor basketball court, workout/dance room, sauna & indoor pool (If RFM had a suggestion box that's what I would request for 95% of the year).

I have never seen so many machines in my life. There were dozens of treadmills, elliptical machines, stair masters, stationary bikes including those stupid lazy boy type bikes you see people reading a magazine on. (Now THAT is an oxymoron).
 

We've got a machine for that

You need a to do an overhead press? There's a machine for that. Need to do some abs, there's a machine for that. Need assistance doing dips or pull-ups, there is a machine that pushes you up WHILE to do them. You got back fat? There's a machine to work that. My personal favorite, squatting while you sit down! My lazy ass self thinks this is great idea. Why waste the energy doing them while standing?

That's not for me. I love torture the good old fashion kind. Barbells & Body weight. Not to mention, those machines are made for fricken giants. I tried using a machine to do curls but that was useless. I liken it to being T-Rex trying to so Handstand push ups...

Jacked up Kenyan runner with the iMissle that almost cost me my teeth.

I warmed up on the treadmill. 1.2 miles in 10 minutes. While I hate running, I was enjoying running to nowhere. I watched 5 different people hop on and off various machines in front of me in that time frame. Of course it wouldn't me if I didn't do something klutzy. "Welcome to the jungle" was blaring in my ears. Completely jacked up from Axel, running like I was a Kenyan in the Boston Marathon. I yanked my headphones out my iPhone it dropped on the belt between my legs & shot out the back like a missile!

Of course I didn't stop the belt. That would require hindsight...I simply jumped off. Upon retrieving my iphone I stupidly jumped back on the belt...it was like a cartoon, my little hampster legs on overdrive, I stumbled flying head first almost smacking my face into the control panel.

Don't quit your day job

After my treacherous warm up I needed to stretch. Not the best situation when you are surrounded by mirrors and people on treadmills.  Doing the stripper pose, perfect stretch, downward dog & groiners made me look like I was auditioning (badly I might add) for a exotic dancing gig. It was hard not to feel awkward when you have your cooche& booty all up in a stranger's grill... 

Shut up and squat damnit...no wait, not yet

Back squat time! YEAH but NO....I had to wait my turn. There was only one rack to do that. Why was I surprised that 24 hr would waste precious floor space for something was NOT a machine? What made it worse was the dude who was using it, did the same weight, one rep then rest and repeat: 20 TIMES!  I wanted to snap.  "HELLO DINGLE BERRY THERE'S A MACHINE FOR THAT!" Get with the damn program!
I stood there, suffering in silence. The passive aggressive part of me came through and I gave him the meanest stink eye! Uh huh, I went there! That's right, I'm hard like that!! Hard like jello.

Mental talipia or ESPN....I can read minds! 

I was getting strange looks from the guys in the area as I started setting up the bar. Me, I'm special I was feeling the "vibes" you know, Mental Talipia (it's mental telepathy, local style) I also have ESPN (Extra Special Portuguese kNowledge). Like I said, I can read minds.

"What the hell? Is the circus in town?"

"Shouldn't a 12 year old be in school?"

"I didn't know the rack could go THAT low!"
"She must be lost, where are her parents?"
"No way she's going to squat."

Walked up to the rack, banged out my first five reps.

BOOM! That just happenned...bitches!

So yeah, the female escapee from the Emerald city can back squat. I'm not one to brag. Nah, I am....They were NICE! I have good technique because was taught by the best! RFM Hollah!!

Admittedly, the weightfelt heavier than I normal. I guess that's what you get when you take almost a week off from CrossFit. Okay, okay, it might had a little to do with the beer. Not the patron, never...that's paleo, right?  

After I was done I was ready to get my WOD on.  This posed a few logistical problems.  Finding a small area to do thrusters not so bad.  But the shuttle run was out of the question because people actually played basketball on the indoor court....Bunch of weirdos...Burpees are the only reasonable substitution. 

Side note: I'm sorry that the day I willingly chose to do burpees in a WOD was the same day they stopped making Twinkies.  Conicence? I think not...

In the end, available space was the deciding factor when choosing the barbell suitable for thrusters. The gym had a set of ready made barbells that looked like Dwarf Games Powerlifting equipment.  Again, hard to look all hardcore CrossFit rocking that clown bar & weights.

WOD: 4 rounds for time
12 Thrusters
15 Burpees
1:00 min rest


Round 1: 60# and did 15 burpees.  The I did it unbroken. Slightly gassed but was managable. Rest for 1:00 minute...which is too fast.

Round 2: Same weight, 15 burpees. Struggling to get the bar overhead, had to stop twice. Decide that the next 2 rounds it will be all about technique. By the time I finished my thrusters. Fatigue had set in and the movents were getting sloppy. The burpees were a welcome change. It was easier to do that than lifting...Stupid, stupid, stupid.  False sense of hope.

Round 3: 50# and 15 burpees.  I had to lower the weight if I didn't want to get hurt or stop. Remembering technique too saved me.  I popped those hips.  I gave it to that bar so hard & with such force if it was a chick, she'd need a cigarette after this WOD.  My burpees were UG-AH-LEE. I started to feel nausous...GGRREEAATT

Hallejuah! I made it through another round...1 minute break.  I was dying, bent over hand on my knees gasping for air. I sucking in the air with such force it was like I was a hooker giving a blow job....

Round 4: same weight, same amount of the devil's favorite, BURPEES!  I know I almost vomited in my mouth.  However, I was so traumatized by this round my mind blocked out the memory.  I'm sure I'll have PTSD night terrors about it one day....

So ingrained in CrossFit I am that I mustered up what may or may not have sounded like the word, TIME! Probably sound like, THUUGHMIME. Would be awesome had I had enough oxygen to my brain to remember my time...Oh well, I KNOW IT SUCKED....No harm done.

Looking like I got run over by dump truck I stumbled to the nearest wall for support. Dorian walked over, took one look at me and laughed.  He had to ask me 4 times if I wanted my protein shake now.  In my mind I said yes, audibly I sounded like Sloth from the movie, "The Goonies".   Bless his heart, he actually understood Sloth-speak. Eventually, I had enough energy to mix my own shake and took another 20 minutes to drink it and get back to semi- normalness.

I felt accomplished that I did a WOD while on vacation.  Not sandbagging even if no one was there to hold me accountable. But since it's Vegas, and I had lost a ton of alcohol working out I had to replenish the supply with more later that afternoon. Not wanting to be haunted by the 4th round I decided it would be a good idea to take a few extra shots....  

We did go back the next day. But I couldn't replicate the magic of the first day except....when it came to the drinking part. 

I knew you knew I would say that because I have Mental Talapia. Remember I'm special...I have ESPN folks.

Catch ya at the box,

Kathy

Can't blame Graham Holmberg, his owner sucks.

As if...

I have been on a quest for a cable jump rope since I began my CrossFit adventure.  Naively thinking it would help my game out.  After all, the cool kids at the box have them...(Shoot, I just outed my poser butt) Grrr....

Call it what you want. I say, Perseverance you may say otherwise...

To be complete honest I had been whining incessantly about my lack of DU prowlness because of proper equipment for a couple of months. Kevin decided to end his misery and bought me the one thing I coveted the most: a Rogue Fitness SR-1S jump rope!

Poppin' the cherry....

Finally, a WOD with Double Unders in it.  Time to de-virginize this bad boy!  At first I was psyched, which quickly gave way to the thought of accidentally killing myself with my new toy.

Reality is not kind....

I am the non-talented Helen Keller of RFM. Upon watching me you will be convinced I am both deaf & blind. Double Unders highlight my epic lack of coordination. It's painful to witness. Hop, hop, hop, whip myself, swear and repeat.
I have learned during this awful process that I have a high tolerance for pain. I have yet to understand what all the fuss is about the whole whipping your legs thing.  Either that, or I am a complete freak....I'll stop there because that topic is for an entirely different type of audience.....

Say Baahh, kid...

I have added those dreaded double unders to the top of my Goats list. I hate them, I hate them with such furor that I have added those two words to my "Swear List". Don't be ordering double cheeseburgers around me...I might snap!
I am a angry little Asian girl after all....That's no excuse, I'm just sayin'....

I'm so clutch, when nobody is watching....

What I can't figure out is, I have done 6 consecutive DUs at home at 11:30 at night...(of course when no one is watching)  and when it doesn't officially count. Yet, in class I'm batting -0.00 average.

Music to my ears.....

Oh how I long to hear the rhythmic skip & whipping sound the cable makes on the wood floor is magical to a person like me. Close your eyes & listen.....The click, whoosh, click, whoosh, click, whoosh...Ahhhh, I sigh every time I hear Shauna do hers. Girl, makes it look easy.

What's in a name?

So yeah, I'm rocking the full suckster status yet in my torture I had an epiphany, I knew exactly what to name to give my new jump rope: Graham Holmberg!

If you are wondering I had considered Cherry or Brandy but what am I naming, a stripper? No girly-girl, porn names for my jump rope.  This bad boy was being used for CrossFit it and it calls for a manly name.  

I realize to the general public this is ludicrous.Naming my jump rope.  But...if you are a regular reader of my blog or know me personally..this is completely normal.

If you must know, I have a great reason for naming it. ZING! This is important.  The way I see it, when I get to the point of utter frustration from my sub par DU action I can throw my rope at the wall I can yell, "Damn You Graham Holmberg!"

Ah yes, very dramatic! Don't act, you can admit that you also think it's a good idea.  Doesn't it sound better than, "Damn this stupid rope!"  Sucker lacks flair, I need flair!  It's important to this Drama Queen.

His owner sucks!

I hate to admit it's the owner not the equipment.  My only recourse is to practice, practice, practice. I have to rep the 2010 Fittest Man Alive name and all...

It's game on on people. Let the whipping begin!! Yeah Baby!!

Uh huh, I just went there....

Catch ya at the box,

Kathy

Hana Relay

Oh no, she did a 'Kathy'

I asked to run with Shauna but 2 days before the race she accidentally dropped a weight on her foot & broke her toe. I was totally bummed. I tried to play it cool, as if running alone was no big deal...But I was a nervous wreck. The few days before the race I couldn't sleep.

Glutton for punishment

I love to make my life hard. I had the bright idea to make energy bars the night before the race. Even better, I never made them before.... You have permission to smack me across the face if I ever say I'm going to make them again. I hear they were good, I don't know...I was SO OVER IT.  By the time I was finished I went to bed close to midnight.

Rise 'n Shine Snatch!

I got up at 4am dragging butt with butterflies in my belly. I was excited & nervous. In the darkness of the Kmart parking lot you could see other teams assembling.  As the sun rose all the teams started to assemble near the 2nd leg.  The atmosphere was electric. I have never experienced anything like this before. All the people, the costumes the noise...WOW! I even saw people there I never knew even ran!

Look at them running fools

Rode with Shauna & Jun from the beginning of the course.  Rod eventually joined us later at Ho'okipa. Bonus for us was Rod wanted to drive!  The day was going great but my anxiety was building with each leg...Pretty soon it was my turn.  Before I knew it Lori was blazing toward me. She passed the baton & off I went.

LIARS!

Leg 7  3.4 miles:  from TWIN FALLS (HOOLAWA) BRIDGE to EMI BASE YARD IN KAILUA .  Rolling hills, then mostly level on winding road.

They were pretty liberal with the whole "rolling hills" description. It should have read,

"Majority uphill with some plateaus that will fool runners into thinking that they may have a break with a downhill only to find out it goes uphill again. Winding roads are meant to test your reaction skills in the game of Chicken with oncoming cars." 

As I made it up the first hill I was gassed. What The Hell?! I figured I had better slow my roll if I would ever make it to the finish. I was timing my run by the number of songs played on my pandora station. Would've worked had, I had a signal...

As I racked up the meters the support vehicles began driving by. They are awesome...lots of cheering & fun. We had the word SNATCH emblazoned  across our upper back.  This was a male fan favorite. Who could resist the opportunity to yell "Hey, nice snatch!" or "Nice legs, Snatch!" without fear of getting b*tch slapped? But all good thing must come to an end.....

HELLO DRAMA QUEEN

Running alone I became my own worse enemy.

I was convinced I was going to have a heart attack & die in the middle of the jungle.

When grounded myself down to the point I had to walk, I gave myself only 10 seconds to catch my breath as I didn't want to be caught walking, wasting time or worse....

Nothing rubs salt into a wound like people passing you. Yes, plural (people not person). A guy from the "Die Another Day" team passed me. That shirt just irritated me since I felt I was dying now. Exasperated, I threw my hands in the air, looked up to the sky and yelled, "Aww come on, you've got to be kidding me!" The F-Bombs were going off in my head.

The Peanut Smuggler in booty shorts

Out of nowhere this Dude who looked as if he was wearing my shorts blew past me. That Mr. Daisy Dukes marathon runner pushed me over the edge! Hands in the air, I screamed "What the fuck?" He turned, gave me a smirk then I swear...he flashed me some nut he was trying to smuggle in the shorts he stole from a chick. (That is a mental scar I will take to the grave, thanks, thanks, a lot man.)

Maybe it was the peanut sighting or the run but I was suffering with nausea, BAD. I kept looking on the side of the road for a place to barf alone but every decent choice was taken by some cheering teams.  I know what you are thinking, why didn't I just blow chunks anywhere?  Um well, I don't believe anyone needs to see that kind of warfare & destruction. ...n the end I never found a suitable place...my breakfast stayed where it belonged.

Thoroughly pissed at this point I flipped the switch from Drama to Bitch mode I picked up the pace.  I started to pass a few people. Which made me feel better. (I was secretly, hoping someone would swear at me....That would have been AWESOME!)

Cruel Joke

So, every time I saw 3 or more vehicles parked on the side of the road I got excited. I thought, HELLYES! The end is near.  Make the turn, Nope...There I went: AHHH _________,
Mother_________,  Son of__________!     expletive 
            expletive                    expletive
If  a hardend Hell's Angel could read my thoughts just then, I'd make him blush.                                             

No matter how many F-Bombs I was dropping in my head I wasn't about to quit the war.

Extreme Underoos

I was faultering, just then I hear a quiet voice in my right ear...."Don't walk, we are almost there. Just keep going." I thought I was hallucinating for sure. I turned to my right only to see a grown ass man rocking The Man of Steel Underoos.  Much to my surprise I knew Superman! It was Coach Mark from Maui Extreme CrossFit.  Man, thanks for the visual and for pushing me to finish strong!

Gimme some lovin, then pass me a drink

Oh how I love my teammates! They are wonderful, always supportive, congratulating me on a job well done. The overall consensus was "We felt bad for you as we were driving the route. We also were glad it was you and not us." As comforting as that was, I was disappointed in my performance. While I did try my very best, my training did little to prepare me for this course. All I could do was shrug & say F it where's my drink?

Instead of drinking water, I drank a Hornsby Hard Cider. Damn, it was good. Then again, so did the Pabst Blue Ribbon after not drinking for 2 months (just for this race)....so I had a nice little buzz to dull the pain from my ego & knee.

Redemption

After some booze, rest & water I felt the urge to redeem myself. I decided to run another leg. No pressure because Ethel was the "official" runner and Kats was doing it too!

Leg 14 2.4 miles: From PUAA KAA STATE PARK to LOWER NAHIKU ROAD.  Level, then downhill. Fast leg.

Finally, an accurate description! I wasn't too far behind Ethel but sorry to say I left Kats in the dust. No F-Bombing this time. I wasn't going to let it get to me. Seriously, it was the best feeling hearing the team cheering.  I was overjoyed seeing Rod, Shauna & Jun at the endline. It was bliss!  I was toast, literally....I had zero energy & was fully brown so much so that if it was night you'd only see me if I smiled.

The Kathy Whisperer

I didn't want to run but some BAD ASS CHICKA named Shauna Goo Riglos was determined to run the last half to the finish line.  Like, I said before I am no match for her negotiating skills. Every time I said no, she said yes. I even complained, "Dammit Woman, you know exactly what to say to get me to do things." She turned, with a big smile and said, "I know, so you're running right?"

My Hero, more Snatch & a bunch of Jerks get to finish

I love Shauna, she has the biggest heart & an iron will. She will forever be my hero. She ran in spite of the pain. When she needed to walk she apologized and told me I could run ahead.  Um hello crazy? She makes like I never needed to walk too? I told her we were going to do it together.  Hey, even Kim Mac jump out of the truck came along for the run! Oh Boy, it was too much snatch for some guys as they were doing their best, Hollah from ya truck Ballahs action! Some of those were definite panty droppers....(said no one).

Let's not forget about all the shirtless Jerks running...You know those Vagaliens were loving them....Yup, many a happy woman in Hana that day....Rawr!

We made it to the finish line! Don't know what our time was. Bumper said it improved by 30 minutes from last year...SWEET!   9/12 UPDATE: WE CAME IN 46th PLACE  IN THE MIXED DIVISION!

The reward for the punishment

Anyway, after eating, picture taking & some re-fueling by beer it was time to relax.  We went  swimming at the red sand beach where we met some very interesting people. Check out the RFM blog you'll see what I mean....

I even paid Kalaheo $20 to pick up my car from Kmart just so I didn't have to let the good times end.

There were too many great memories made, some fuzzy, even lost altogether (thank god) to write about. Maybe another time....

I have to admit, I have a pretty cool life. Especially now because of my RFM family. Thanks for everything guys can't wait for next year!  



Hana Relay 2012
RFM Team Snatches & Jerks



  

Hello Rx-ness!

De-Virginized

Last week I popped my CrossFit cherry. I did my very first WOD Prescribed! Big day in Kathyville. 

If you read my Hana Relay post you already know I succumb to peer pressure easily. It hadn't crossed my mind to attempt it Rx. So when Shauna suggested I try, I entertained the thought. However, I wasn't convinced I had it in me. Just then I got to watch Alaina finish out her WOD Rx.  She was inspiring, what a fighter! I was so proud of her. Before leaving they again encouraged me to try. Shauna yelled, "You can do it! I know you can!" With Alaina standing there nodding her head.  That was all I needed. I was ALL IN! 

Title: Box vs Kathy
Artist: yours truly



4 rounds for time:



20 box jumps

10 push-ups

200 meter run

Do the math

Here's the deal: I have to leap on the top of a box that is 20" tall.  I am is 59 1/2" tall. Now multiply 20 reps x 4 = 80 total reps.  Simply, I have to jump almost half my height.  Let's factor in fatigue so minus 5% performance after 2 rounds for a total of 10% loss in performance. Are you starting to get why I was unsure I could do this? 

Conceivably, I could jump short, and high five the ground with my face....Hello dentures! After that, every time I smile it would look as if I was hoarding a bunch of white chiclets in my mouth. Screw it! Time to be "unscared"...and go for it. I mean, God grants miracles everyday right?

Time to grow some cajones, quick!

Aside from my my obvious vertical challenge I had to do "Man" push-ups. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's not PC....Go ahead and burn my sports bra in effigy.  Fact is, there was no modifying this. Shit, life is hard when you have the strength of a 6 year old. I knew I needed to man up.  If I was going to reach my goal there was no way I was going on my knees.  (that's what she said)

Think of it as Taco Bell

Then there is the running part, oh how I loathe running. Because I know this is a necessary evil. I tend to attack it like it's a burrito supreme. No joke, I can dust one in a minute.

Today however, it was a more of a hard shell Taco Supreme problem.  You see, you need to be methodical, careful to bite in just the right place with just enough force as not to totally split it in two. If you rush you are subject to a mess that requires 3 napkins when you only have 1. 

that's when I decided to use this time it to practice my Pose running. Concentrating on technique kept my mind from wandering into the pain cave...My focus was so good in fact that I almost ran into the wrong warehouse TWICE.  I'm amazed I didn't run into a parked vehicle.

I ended up finishing at: 10:01 (Better than I expected). I stood there staring intently at the whiteboard watching Lori as she wrote the letters Rx by my name. It was beautiful. Satisfied, I collapsed in front of the fan, rolling around, making love to the floor for a few minutes....When I finally got off the floor and looked at the board again I noticed that
THE WHOLE CLASS HAD DONE THE WOD AS PRESCRIBED! I was so proud of everyone...I workout with some hardcore MoFos!

For my non-CrossFit pals it basically means I took off the pull-ups and wore the big girl panties. Yippee!!

Sing it with me: Mommy Wow! I'm a big kid now!

Like I said, it was a big day in Kathyville.  I must have called everybody. My daughters, Mom, even my ex-husband! I texted Shauna first, then some of my friends in the mainland who CrossFit...Who cares if they're sleeping, this was BIG NEWS.

And you know I had to update my status. 'Cause it ain't official until it's on Facebook! Hell, nothing feeds an ego better than a few LIKES!  Yes, yes, my narcissism has no boundaries...

Eh, so what if I couldn't walk up the stairs or put on deodorant for a day. I still woke up the next morning feeling "All Real"...still reveling in my Rx-ness.
Just so you know, it feels even better than seeing it on the board.

Blog ya later,

Kathy

BTW..yes Rx-ness is a word &

you have permission to use it.

You are welcome.





We're making memories here people!

Growing up whenever my friends & I did something out of the ordinary (or ridiculous) to mark the occasion we used to yell, "We're making memories here, people!" 

These are my newest since my last post....

I can lift 30 heavier overhead since the very beginning.

I did 7 pull-ups with the red band. Collecting (toddler version) PRs BABY!!

I PR'd my dips. A total of 8 with a thin black band. (remember I have the strength of a 6 year old)

Whipped in the face by a black band, mentioned above.  I did not flinch or cry, stunned...maybe.  Then I was gifted with an unusual looking black eye Stripe.

By Bumper's estimation I have done the World's Slowest Bailout in History.  Hey, where's my certificate?

I can both sing and run without hurting myself.  Not sure if the little calf I pass on my route likes my awesome Mariah Carey version cause every time I pass he moos loudly. I think I may sound a little like this guy below:

I re-learned physics the old fashioned way, by eating pavement! I forgot what would happen when you pivoting on a dime then trying to sprinting as a 45lb weighted sled whips behind you at an estimated velocity of 225 mph.  I looked like a jackass, yet SO NORMAL...

I can sprint faster than some boys.



Rogue Fitness

SR-1S - Short Handle Bearing Speed Rope



I can do double-unders. (with the subsequent swearing and all!)



I have an obsession with finding cable jump ropes. (if you want you can buy me a present for Labor Day knock yourself out.)

mobiltyWOD has become one of the only things I read.  I worship Dr. Kelly Starette. The dude knows his stuff & is hella funny. http://www.mobilitywod.com/

My rolling pin has been re-purposed as a leg massager.  It's not like I ever used it for baking....Now, that would be just weird.

I can do a Ab mat & bumper plate handstand push up without smashing my face in!  But who cares if I do, that's what plastic surgeons are for...As long as I don't have Michael Jackson's nose I'm golden.
I did a mass load of sit-up without getting the dreaded ass-rash.

Speaking of butts, I'm starting to get one! At least that's what my oldest daughter has said. HA...Up yours Sir Mix-A-Lot!

Mr. & Mrs. Cho

How you like the socks?

I succumbed to the over the calf socks. Shauna was right, they are good.  I have 2 pairs of tie dyed ones.  Every time I wear them I feel as if I'm going to a Grateful Dead Tribute Concert...

I got to meet two of the coolest parents around, Mr & Mrs. Cho. They came by RFM for a visit. If you're wondering they're the parents of Chyna Cho, Elite CrossFitter, and great friend of RFM. Did I mention I am a fan of hers??

I can kip.  It just happened, don't ask me how. The kipping fairy must have visited.

Doing back squats barefooted like Fred Flintstone is so much better. 

Carol can make my fatigued plank pose rigid. Simply whispering softly in my ear when my eyes are closed...

I belong to a hardcore team named "Straight Gangstas". Dominic, Myself, Kats & Carol...Yeah, nothing says THUG like 2 short Asians, a Average height Hapa dude & a tall white chick....I'll make sure to pour out a little of my water on the wall today in honor of my Homies....

I have cut my alcohol consumption to almost zero. My liver just LOVES CrossFit.

I will actually workout on a vacation this weekend...Box Hopping in Kona.

RFM GUN SHOW

If you knew me 3 months ago you'd believe that the Apocalypse is coming...Cause my life sure has changed, for the better!

Time of a nap...Catch ya at the box, 

Master

Sprinter attempts to run more than 100 meters

I did the unthinkable, I agreed to do the Hana Relay with the RFM crew!

Here's a brief description courtesy of http://hanarelayhawaii.com website:

It is an incredible fifty-two mile journey along 617 curves and over 56 bridges through the most breathtaking scenery in all of Maui. The 52 mile course begins in the Kahului Airport area and will proceed along the Hana Highway to the finish line at the Hana Ball Park.

(125 team limit) Each team should consist of 6 members. Each member MUST run 3 legs of the course (Approximately 2-3 miles a leg).  

Why am I making this a big deal? By nature I am a sprinter. Specifically a 100m kind.  How do I know this? I was stupid enough to run Track during my Sophomore year in high school.

Sprinting the 200m or 400m was outright torture. I've been helped back to the stands a few times, fainted & visited Barf City more than I'd care to admit...Can't say I have fond memories of that season. Ever since whenever I hear the pop of a starting gun or see a pair of track shoes I get nausous. I bet I suffer from a mild case of PTSD from it. 

I know what you're thinking. Didn't you play soccer? Don't you run a lot? Yes & no.  Zero long distances. The game is made up of short sprints & recovery time. If you know the game well enough, you can cut the angles & anticipate the play.  This can lessen your overall amount of running. Or be like me, play defense for a good team and cruise.  


While talking on the phone last week I told Kevin that I was going to do the relay he laughed. Sucker laughed so hard that I became a bit offended. Irritated, I asked him why he found this so amusing. What I didn't expect was his answer,

"I'm not surprised you said yes. You do succumb to peer pressure easily."

I was thinking, WHAT THE HELL, MAN?!  I had to admit he was right, I do. I've mentioned this before but I really am: ALL BALLS, NO BRAINS

Come to think of it, many a black eye, sprain, bruise, odd picture, hangover and epic story are the result of this affliction.  I'm a Tomboy so I am susceptible to the Jock-Type of Peer Pressure.

Chanting my name is the most effective. Especially, if you use my iconic name, MASTER. I am rendered powerless against it.

Why Master? Well, my last name used to be Bader (pronounced: Bay-durr)

.....let it sink in for a moment. ISN'T THAT AWESOME?!   

It's cool, you can laugh. Get it out of your system now. The rule is: You can call me either name NEVER both together.

I have Little Woman Syndrome. Call me out, imply I'm being a panty.  That works almost as well as chanting. The dumb jock DNA takes over.

Finally, go Black Ops on me saying sweetly, "C'mon it will be so much fun."

The last example was the one that got me to join. Fun, you say?  I love fun! It really only took like two times asking for me to get on board.  How can you fight that when Cami & Shauna ask?  They are VERY convincing.

They sweetened the deal with Fuchsia colored racer backs, funky knee high socks and an optional tutu. I am giddy with delight...I get to be 3 years old & dress myself all over again!. Yippee!

Game plan: RUN MORE, TRAIN HARDER. Last week, my friend Fernando and I ran from his house to the bathrooms at Iao Valley for the first time. Nah, we 'ran-ish' it (run/walked) parts of the first leg. The second leg, we ran almost the whole way back.  It ended up to be around 4 miles. Thanks to Crossfit I have accomplished something I never thought was possible.

The next day (Friday) I ran with Cami & Shauna. Cami's pace is FAST.  Shauna is a running machine.  Woman was sick, ran 2 miles from her house AND ran to Iao! She is a role model of mind over body.  If she can push, I know I can.

I totally have bought into the Do More, Suck Less mindset.  When I have the chance, I now run to & from the gym...Yeah, yeah so it's close. Don't bust my bubble....

I'm also doing some "extra credit" after our WOD & I have been pushing myself even harder than before.  Even if my body aches more I am happier than I've ever been.

Not sure what my next goal will be after the relay race.  I'm not gonna think about it. That is a waste of energy....I need to save that for my WODs and dodging the cars.

Blog ya later,

Master

Murder By Box Jump Burpees

A few days ago it was sweltering. The humidity combined with the heat made the box feel as if you were working out in the Devil's armpit. I unfortunately sweat A LOT to the point where I seem as if I'm suffering from a gland problem. Days like that pushes it over the edge....God, I was melting, literally.

You know it's bad when you can hear from the parking lot Ken yell out, "AHHH It's so hot, I can't breathe!"  If our quiet Man of Steel is knocked to his feet, what the hell is going to happen to me?

Before this post becomes consumed with my distain for heat. Time to change the subject.  Let's start with my unexpected highlights of the day....

Carol was back!  Spanking my butt as she passed. I pretended I didn't know who she was but Lez be honest, I'd recognize her palm smack with my eyes closed! Great to have my RFMBFF back.

I got to see Bruce stretch out. Mister is flexible! No, I'm not perving....When a man who built like a Linebacker can raise his legs to chest height then bend enough to where his nose can touch his knee THAT is worthy of gawking! Bravo Bruce! I for one was thoroughly impressed.

It was Back Squat day...YAY ME! I love back squats. I get to put my big soccer legs to use. I can bang them out with proficiency. When I do, feel like I'm a ultra-mini female version of Ken.

Unfortunately, my glee was short lived...I had to do math, my arch nemesis!

Turns out last week was a fluke. I am back to normal. I can't add, it took me over 10 minutes to try and figure out how I was going to get the total sum of 80# on a 45# bar. In the end, I didn't figure it out. Carol did.

To make matters worse, Bumper must have really wanted to showcase my short bus capabilities by devising a WOD like this below:

A. Back squat 3x5 (80#)

B. For time:

10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1    KB swings  20#
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10    Burpee box jump 16"

This counting sequence messed me up BAD. Well, pretty much everyone. Bumper had to repeat himself at least 5 times. Like I said I was back to normal so this was TOUGH. I kept on having to look at the board to make sure.

I went for a manageable weight for my KB swings.  I am prone to laziness so just in case I ALWAYS ask Kristi or Bumper. I love is their facial expression. It's the look of, "Hmm...really, again?

I like kettle bell swings.  They are simple but I can't help but giggle every time I think about the hip thrust movement you use. When I do the 1st few reps I wanna yell, "OH YEAH. WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!" 
Yes, I am very immature.  I say whatever!  Don't lie, I know you've thought about it before. If not, now you will....YOU ARE WELCOME.

Moving on, let's talk burpees.  Mine are UG-GA-LEE. No sugar coating this one.  It's ugly in a way that, if my burpees were a chick in a bar hoping to hook-up not even the meanest beer goggles would get them laid.

Yeah,  you are SUPPOSE to ease into a plank position and with control, lower your chest to the ground. Not me, I just throw myself to the floor. This is where me having the chest of a 10 year old boy is a clear advantage. Hooray for small boobies!

I've come to the revelation through torture half of the battle of burpees is the act of standing up. Knowing this is all well & good.  However, this girlfriend be jumpin' on a box that is 16" high!  SIXTEEN INCHES PEOPLE! That is some Evil Knivel type of action if you ask me. Getting me to jump that high is a miracle in itself.

I was on fire! My adrenalin was pumping or I could have stepped on some rabbit poop on the way to the gym but I totally bunny hopped that sucker! Better yet, I escaped injury do so. What an ego boost. I was psyched, I went for it!

Toward the end (around the 8th round) fatigue set in.  I was keggin' bad....started to lose count of my reps, so I did extra. I also started  pounding my landing.  No cushioning that sucker, my poor shins...That's when I wished my ninja skills came out without alcohol.

Even with my many "setbacks" I managed to complete the Murder By Box Jump Burpees WOD (that's what I'm naming it) in a respectable time.

It took me over 20 minutes to recover. I was toast.  The only reason I moved was I had to.  I was sitting on some bumper plates and the 6 o'clock class needed them.

The truth is: I am demented, I derive the most satisfaction from the hardest vomit inducing workouts. I love the Torture. Five days a week I get to challenge myself. Achieve beyond what I thought I was capable of. Embrace the pain because that's a reminder that I am alive.

Gotta run.

Blog ya later,

Kathy

Positivity brings out the Rockstar who can add & wants to yell: Blueberry Pancakes!

Last week was pretty dismmal. This week I decided to change my attitude, be positive.

It began late last Saturday night I recieved a text from my friend Jenn asking if I wanted to do a make-up "Sunday Fun Day" WOD at the stadium in the morning with her & her friend Colleen since she knew I missed mine too.

She sent a picture text however my phone is crappy and I couldn't see it. While waiting for the download I figured, why not? I replied within seconds: I'm in!  Why I mention the crappy phone deal was Jenn sent me the details of the Sunday WOD. Had I actually seen it, I honestly don't think I would've gone....

This sign greeted me as I walked toward them. --->>>  

Yup, it's even worse when you are actually doing it. Notice NO 15# vest  by my name? I'm not hardcore AND wasn't particularly keen on suffering a stroke on a Sunday morning.  Of course Teva, Jenn's 10 year old son smoked us. The 2 ultra Fit ladies killed it! Me? I barely survived.

I didn't finish under the 30 minute time cap, but I finished! Hallelujah!
Dazed, nauseated, gasping for air & legs trembling I was happy. Even though I looked as if I was dragged through a car wash (without the car)...I didn't mind taking a picture to mark this occasion. I SURVIVED! 

Feeling accomplished I had to reward myself with a nap. Man oh man was I toast for the rest of the day...

As I always do, I hit the RFM site before bed.... Come to think of it should rethink this practice just in case I read something horrifying like this again:

Workout for 7/30/12:

A. Back squat 3x5 (+5-10#)

B. 4 rounds for max reps:

0:30 DB lunges (40-50% of body weight)

0:30 rest

0:30 push-ups

0:30 rest

0:30 KB swings

0:30 rest

Dumbell lunges, push ups, burpees.  As many reps as possible in 30 seconds

Staring at the screen, panic set in.  Why did I do that WOD today? Damn it, I'm heavy! Oh my God I'm going to have to rock (2) 20# Dumbells! Push ups? I can do about 5 push ups.  (When I say this I'm being generous with 5).

Still apprehensive from the night before I was quiet the whole day. I had to figure out a game plan. I knew I would be running a deficient w/the push ups. I had to jam the lunges & KB swings to make up the difference.

I stuck to the plan.  Ain't gonna lie, it was tough. I fought hard.  I fell backwards trying to pop up from a lunge & did some of the push-ups the wrong way on the Poiret bar (even AFTER Bumper demo'd it for me). I swear pretty soon he'll nickname me Short Bus.   

Of course later that night I started walking like I had a stick up my ass, getting out of my chair was a major undertaking.  I even contemplated NOT putting on deodorant as to spare myself the pain...

I didn't learn my lesson. As I was lying in bed I remembered it was time to check Tuesday's WOD:

Workout for 7/31/12:A. Press 3x5 (+5#)
B. For time:
Run 400 meters
40 double unders
Run 300 meters
30 double unders
Run 200 meters
20 double unders
Run 100 meters
10 double unders

Hot Doggie! My kind of workout. Very rarely do the stars align. Fortunately they did for me on Tuesday.

Magically at night the pain fairies helped me out.  I awoke with only 2 places that hurt like hell. My left quad & my right shin.  My thinking: Ah, this is candy. I have the whole day to stretch....oh God, I am a fool....

That afternoon my shin still hurt. Trying to massage it at the gym Lori took pity on me & rewarded me with a shin-tiger balm massage. AHHHH HOLY HELL! THIS HURTS LIKE A MOTHER!

Yes, I was being a tad bit dramatic but my boo boo hurt.  I must have been in enough agony to delight my 11yr old daughter. She couldn't stop laughing at me. I can't blame her, we all know it's only funny when it's not you.

Thanks to Lori's fingers of steel & Tiger balm I could now run. Up side to this is I also cleared my sinuses. The fumes were so strong that even Ken who was stretching 5 feet way suffering from allergies now could breath again because of me. (No thanks needed Ken, you're welcome).

As some of you may already know, I am mathematically challenged.  In most cases I'd say KISS YOUR ASS GOOD BYE if it meant I could save the world by addition. Not today my friends, I was on fire!

I knew exactly what barbell & weight combination to use AND I could count my reps up to 20! Read it: TWENTY!!  Eh, I wasn't going to push my luck and attempt to count to 21....I know my limits.  I wasn't about to give myself a migraine.

As I mentioned in the beginning the stars were aligned.  Tuesday's WOD was made for me. DU's & running. I have yet to do more than 2 DU's but I can now string along singles at a steady pace. I even knew what the conversion amount was for DU's to Singles...Hell yeah, I was on a serious roll!

Wait, wait, wait....

Let's get serious of a moment. Running sucks. I do whatever I have to keep going. This time, I kept my head down & sang "Call Me Maybe." to myself.  Don't knock it! It's a catchy tune.  Once you hear the song you too will be singing, "I know I just met you and this is crazy but here's my number. Call me maybe"  Ah yeah...That's my JAM! 

In my Carly Rae Jepsen karaoke daze I somehow finished in the middle of the pack for my WOD.  Better yet, I completed it within my own self imposed time cap.  Hot damn! I  AM A ROCK STAR!  

After class, I was still reeling in my own glory. Cruising with Kats watching the boys flip the 600Lb truck tire was fun.  But it was Coach Kristi's flip that got me inspired.....

NOT TO FLIP THE TIRE! HECK NO! You must be smokin' something funny if you thought I did....And people think I'm crazy?!!

Anyway, I wanted to sit on the INSIDE and be rolled down the parking lot. Marcus seemed to also think this was a good idea and offered to hook me up & push the tire. SWEET!! 

As you know the words, Kathy & mature are synonymous with safety. I was ahead of the game.  I asked Marcus what would happen if I got too sick & wanted to stop? I would need a "safe word."  What's a safe word you ask? It's a special word or phrase to let people know to stop without having to say the word stop....

I was thinking um, maybe: Blueberry Pancakes? But his suggestion was simple: STOP.  Bleh! Efficient? Absolutely. Creative? NO. The word stop lacks zing.  Zing is important in situations like this.

Then I asked what if he couldn't hear me yell stop? His answer, "just yell it loud. Do it enough times, someone is bound to hear you."  I tell you, Marcus should be my Guru....He give me some genius answers.

Standing there listening to our conversation Coach Kristi was skeptical. She shook her head saying she didn't think it was a good idea.  I can't imagine why? How bad could it be? I mean, I swear I saw it on an episode of Jackass.  Hello, Johnny Knoxville is still alive....I'm jus sayin'

Maybe it was the urging of Marcus & Kats or my own stupidity but I felt like I had huge gorilla balls & I decided to go for it!

I got in the middle.  Of course I'm too short & weak to hold myself upright that's when I thought I heard someone say, "run in the middle of it like a hamster!". At that moment, I knew God helped guide me to the right gym.....

I AM SURROUNDED BY GENIUSES!

That was perfect! Much safer than being flipped. Plus, I could still use my own safe word to stop. YAY ME!

Bumper helped guide me. My Guru, Marcus decided to watch.

Slow at first then I was like a hamster on crack...Running as fast as my little legs could take me. That was until I heard Bumper yell, HO, HO, HO, STOP! I guess I was going to hit the warehouse or people who knows...

It wasn't my Blueberry Pancakes but it worked. After a few feet, I ending up on my head upside down. Who would've thought it would be difficult to stop on a dime?

I stumbled out thinking, THAT WAS AWESOME! I SO want to do it again. This Crossfit stuff Rocks!

Gosh, what an great week I've had so far. Changing my attitude made all the difference. Being positive sure has it's perks.

Shoot, gotta run so I'll just Blueberry Pancakes this....Hope you have a Happy Aloha Friday Boys & Girls!

Blog ya later,

Kathy