As if...
I have been on a quest for a cable jump rope since I began my CrossFit adventure. Naively thinking it would help my game out. After all, the cool kids at the box have them...(Shoot, I just outed my poser butt) Grrr....Call it what you want. I say, Perseverance you may say otherwise...
To be complete honest I had been whining incessantly about my lack of DU prowlness because of proper equipment for a couple of months. Kevin decided to end his misery and bought me the one thing I coveted the most: a Rogue Fitness SR-1S jump rope!
Poppin' the cherry....
Finally, a WOD with Double Unders in it. Time to de-virginize this bad boy! At first I was psyched, which quickly gave way to the thought of accidentally killing myself with my new toy.Reality is not kind....
I am the non-talented Helen Keller of RFM. Upon watching me you will be convinced I am both deaf & blind. Double Unders highlight my epic lack of coordination. It's painful to witness. Hop, hop, hop, whip myself, swear and repeat.I have learned during this awful process that I have a high tolerance for pain. I have yet to understand what all the fuss is about the whole whipping your legs thing. Either that, or I am a complete freak....I'll stop there because that topic is for an entirely different type of audience.....
Say Baahh, kid...
I have added those dreaded double unders to the top of my Goats list. I hate them, I hate them with such furor that I have added those two words to my "Swear List". Don't be ordering double cheeseburgers around me...I might snap!I am a angry little Asian girl after all....That's no excuse, I'm just sayin'....
I'm so clutch, when nobody is watching....
What I can't figure out is, I have done 6 consecutive DUs at home at 11:30 at night...(of course when no one is watching) and when it doesn't officially count. Yet, in class I'm batting -0.00 average.Music to my ears.....
Oh how I long to hear the rhythmic skip & whipping sound the cable makes on the wood floor is magical to a person like me. Close your eyes & listen.....The click, whoosh, click, whoosh, click, whoosh...Ahhhh, I sigh every time I hear Shauna do hers. Girl, makes it look easy.What's in a name?
So yeah, I'm rocking the full suckster status yet in my torture I had an epiphany, I knew exactly what to name to give my new jump rope: Graham Holmberg!
If you are wondering I had considered Cherry or Brandy but what am I naming, a stripper? No girly-girl, porn names for my jump rope. This bad boy was being used for CrossFit it and it calls for a manly name.
I realize to the general public this is ludicrous.Naming my jump rope. But...if you are a regular reader of my blog or know me personally..this is completely normal.
If you must know, I have a great reason for naming it. ZING! This is important. The way I see it, when I get to the point of utter frustration from my sub par DU action I can throw my rope at the wall I can yell, "Damn You Graham Holmberg!"
Ah yes, very dramatic! Don't act, you can admit that you also think it's a good idea. Doesn't it sound better than, "Damn this stupid rope!" Sucker lacks flair, I need flair! It's important to this Drama Queen.
His owner sucks!
I hate to admit it's the owner not the equipment. My only recourse is to practice, practice, practice. I have to rep the 2010 Fittest Man Alive name and all...It's game on on people. Let the whipping begin!! Yeah Baby!!
Uh huh, I just went there....
Catch ya at the box,
Kathy
